Potatoes ftw!

Promos in.. 32 DAYS. 32 DAYS?!!! Feeling the growing intense pressure to do well, though I try my best not to show it, nor show the grrrreeaater reason and motivation to do well. I just know to do it. Trying not to risk any chances thugh at times I let slip & slack awhile, feel guilty after & get back down to the notes. I think the pressure is amounting too much for me to carry, I don't even dare imagine what will happen of me when my grades are deemed unsatisfactory. Not having high hopes, but still some hope I guess.

Haven't been to service, AG & YF for two weeks consecutively. Hmm.. Honestly, it brings to me a quirky sense of freedom. I don't know if by writing this, people will start shooting me with comments or start all the judgements that we humans are so erred to. Recently, life's took a great turn on me.. I start to feel really constrained by my faith, I start to question so much, start to disbelieve, start to ponder & more importantly, start to stray. I mean, I still do believe in the existence of this higher being who created the heavens and the earth, but just who is He to me? I question. I stumble, & it's driving fear in me, yet I just can't stop doubting. Please don't judge me, I just am trying to settle my own thoughts.. So I'm sorry I haven't been accountable in that sense, to my SG, my AG & AG leaders.. I haven't been responsible. I know all these, but things are just going haywire for me..

& I just need to find out who I am, my purpose (after so many events this year that is enough to change me to someone else), & God's work in my life.

Pray for me. thanks.