I LOVE YOU SO.

2010-05-05T19:00:00.001+08:00

Blessing from Aboveee

2010-03-20T10:47:00.000+08:00

Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

2010-03-01T17:22:00.002+08:00

You have stolen my heart/

Woah man, how long have I not been here? Hi long abandoned blog, I missed you. :) I'm in Sydney now, just said a second goodbye to John Foo yesterday evening, bittersweet feeling, haha.

Anyway, Sydney has really uber loads of roundabouts, pretty funny whenever Daddy & I encounter one. Haven't been studying, travelling is tiring, plus the cold weather here in Aussie is sleep-inducing every moment of the day, cept for certain hot scorching afternoons perhaps. Sad to say.. CTs are in a week's time! Oh well. Must pia :S

& to my boy back in Spore, missed you & see you soon.

My heart still has a beat

2009-12-30T08:57:00.001+08:00

Love sings

When it transcends the bad things

Have a heart & try me.

2009-12-27T22:19:00.001+08:00

I'm scared.

2009-12-12T21:27:00.002+08:00

I've been feeling terribly uneasy the past week (I think that's the reason for my unrelenting tummy ache), dyou too? The pace of life now (or past month) seems just so surreal, I think I still need some time for things to sink in, & The Fact to settle into the big picture of Reality.

Total depravity is hitting me again.

Maybe.

2009-12-06T15:22:00.002+08:00

When past becomes a hindrance, I do what I always do, I run, I cringe, I cry, but I barely fight for even something so dear to me. Why is this?

Maybe it wasn't too good an idea to peel that protective layer off so quickly.

((Sorry))

2009-12-03T23:54:00.003+08:00

" How could they fail to see that,

it was God they crucified?

He was bleeding, He was dying

But I still can hear Him crying

The very words of love

'Father, forgive them!' "

I feel like the biggest fool today, at the same time I felt like I behaved like an insolent, disrespectful, insecure child. But, the worst was, I was actually digging my own grave, settling myself for unnecessary emotional fluctuations I actually don't deserve.

Well, at the very least, I'm happy I brought it up. I guess, sometimes I just need to settle my thoughts, carefully safe keep the assurances and promises I have been bestowed upon & count my blessings, thank You Lord. :)

& sorry too, for the times I've failed You. I'm sorry, cuz I know I wasn't trying my best at all.

Overcame doubts, overcame and fell/

2009-11-30T20:05:00.002+08:00

I see two roads ahead of you
One is wide, the other is narrow and long
Which is the one you'll choose?
Together we're walking side by side
I will fall and you will rescue me
through all my darkest times
And what will define you?

{You make it easier when life gets hard}

2009-11-29T16:49:00.004+08:00

Having a nice Sunday late afternoon just doing some mini-chores here and there, listening to the "long lost music" of my Ipod nano, typing a typically boring post of a boring time, & contemplating my past week.

Happy, surely, had a few really solid sessions this week, just going back to God, and letting Him speak. Or rather, I'm trying hard to be congnizant and more sensitive to Him. Nice week, some time of realisation that I still haven't been praying enough as well, about Volleyball and commitments. Pray! Pray without ceasing, something I strive so hard yet fall and slip time and again. And please Joy, "being human" should stop being a casual excuse.

Verse that spoke to me this week strongly:

Hebrews 2: 16-17

¹⁶For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. ¹⁷Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.

He understands, and that's truly of comfort :)

"You love me?"

2009-11-13T10:14:00.003+08:00

Yay I'm here! MICHELLE LIEW, send photos pleeeeaaaaseeee. <3

I had an awesome 17th =) filled with surprises, that could even send me into a state of heart attack, hehe. But nevertheless, this birthday left me feeling absolutely loved and cherished =) thank You, God. And thank You again.

I'm really thankful, for everyone who was part of my awesomezx 17th. Kay I shall write them all down, so I'll remember this and all of you for life =)

Surprise #1:

November 4th- the day of Singapore Idol, to support Charles with Vanessa, Yvonne and Shernice. They were so cute! Haha, totally caught unexpected (partly cuz it was still four days away from birthday) but they surprised me with a cake at Mos. Hehe, love you girls :) It was a great start to the many happy surprises to come later on. Love! and thank youu (:

Surprise #2:

The midnight surprise, which failed to have them surprising me by my bedside, HAHA. Sorry dears, spoilt the chance for you to march into my room with the cake and the pretty sunflower. But, ILY! <3>

Surprise #3:

Hello you :) thanks for coming down, bringing so many things I really love with you, you know I appreciate it and everything else can be left unsaid =) *wink wink*

Surprise #4:

Surprise right after AG, with Su Jen a part of it <33333>

Thanks AG for the birthday surprise/song and the cute ttm Bob The Builder cake. <3

Su Jen!!!

And YAY we took a nice group photo =) Thank God for his blessings.

Surprise #5:

The craziest I swear. Ten of you- Kimberly, Michelle, Marcus Teo, Jeremy, Wen Han, Oswin, Louis, Kevin, Terence (Kwok) and Mervin. LOVE YOU ALL. The most unexpected surprise of all, you guys blowing your lungs out to fill my room with balloons, so many lovely presents and yeah I was just so amazed and stunned and surprised. =) Hugs.

& not forgetting everyone else who facebooked me and messaged, thank you too and I love you! <3

Lastly, thank you Daddy and the bros for helping in all the surprises and for bearing with me for 17 years. Thank you Daddy for bearing with me and friends when we were so noisy and obviously disturbing you while you were watching your favourite JUMONG, hehehe. And thanks Korkor, for the bagpack =) thanks extended family for everything, dinner together and presents and chocolate factory chocolates <3

And, thank You God above, for without You, nothing of this is possible.

My heart won't move, it's incomplete

2009-11-04T23:31:00.001+08:00

On Jeremy's big day <3

Awesome photo,

special friendship,

all the love. XOXO

& Happy Birthday, Kenji! (:

If I should be so bold/

2009-11-03T23:58:00.003+08:00

I like. :) Thank God for you two too. :) And you.

Hello world, I'm really tired today.

K really too tired to do anymore slides, what not.

I really don't like to think, I realised.

And all the weariness is making me cranky.

OP in three days, YAY :DDD can't wait, PW rots brains.

K lastly, Happy birthday Jeremyyyyyyy. :P

And you, don't think so much :P

(( It's a supernatural delight ))

2009-10-27T23:43:00.000+08:00

This photo makes me happy whenever I see it :) Cute XX TTMMMMM. & it reminds me, baby leaves for Virginia this Thurs :( :( :(

Yes! Finally finished my work, & it did not feel that bad afterall. I thought I would die of boredom, cuz I haven't hit the books for a while now :)

Today marked a milestone in my pathetic 17 years of life in this world. Haha, I said goodbye to my ugly (well maybe not that ugly, I made do with it for almost 17 years!) eyebrows. My virgin threading experience today was epic and crazy. The woman must have been stunned and stumped by me (HAHAHA). Screamed like crazy, wanted to back out and leave, but Michelle and Kim were SO insistent, hahaha. Oh well, at least I have nicer brows now. Nevertheless, the pain wasn't worth it. It was really very painful :(

The morning breakfast experience with the girls was another crazy one. How not to be actually, when I'm with those girls, heh. :D Okay, you see, we needed this stupid ID photo (with our VJ uniform) for our OGL Application form. We figured it would be expensive and extremely not worth it to get the instant ID photos printed. SOOOOOO. So after Yakun breakfast, we wore our blouses over our tee shirts in the washroom at Parkway Parade and took our photos with my pathetic 3.2 megapixels camera phone there (which featured us against a tiled background, haha). Then we went to Kodak to print them and got the very friendly lady to help us cut them into ID photo size :) What was most memorable out of the entire experience was to get watched and stared by the other ladies in the washroom & having to pass the college pin around and laughing non-stop just like we always do. :P

Hmm, so, even though PW was boring (as usual, and known to all), I loved the company. :) And the ahem, painful experiences. :)

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

2009-10-20T12:11:00.002+08:00

First happy thing of the day: I finally managed to find the download link for 寂寞，好了！:) Expect more to come.

The past week was demanding. It was one of exhaustion and disheartenment. God unraveled to me the fragility of life once more, and our total depravity, leaving us with no choice but to rely on His grace and mercy. Rachel surely said it well and I quote (in a paraphrased way) "When things get down, we can only sit and wait on His grace. The issue is always 'Who is God?' and the reason for going to church (and anything else for that matter) is God Himself." I was pretty enlightened, I have always enjoyed this mini-sessions I had with Rng cuz she amazes me, & she never fails to bring me back to The Focus and remind me of His goodness. And I thank God for people like that. They are essential. They bring me back to the crux of the whole significance of Christian fellowship in itself.

Anyway, today I woke up & I realised: It's been 7 months dear. 7 months. That's neither long nor short, but I've survived. Though I've been pretty much a disappointment all throughout this year, I still have much to give thanks for. Family & friends, & learning how to appreciate and miss someone I love dearly.

Miss you.

2009-10-09T02:15:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to think about today, what was I doing? & what were you thinking? I wonder.

The home base is raided;

2009-09-28T17:17:00.001+08:00

Shiet, I tried to stop it.

But I'm falling.

2009-09-24T00:33:00.001+08:00

EVERYBODY WATCH THIS. SHE'S SO CUTEEEEE. <3

Say say, tell me why.

2009-09-20T03:04:00.002+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Disappointment
Looked down on
Where Your life is Going
Death
Commitment
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Haha , oh so true. I'm tired now. I'm in the midst of Gorby essay, which I got totally confused with, I'm re-doing it! D: Good practice definitely though, cuz it helps me organise my points and arguments, Promos in just a few days time!!! D: STRESSED.

Haha, still in the midst of essay during this unearthly hour, I know I'm crazy. Thank goodness for crazy people who also stay up till such hours, to talk to me & accompany me! :) Jeremy, haha :) Cute boy, lol :P Thanks! Was actually frustrated & upset, better now thanks to you.

And so it reads.

2009-09-17T02:27:00.002+08:00

{moving along. to forget and put behind. she doesn't deserve this does she. i'm stuck here wondering, what could have been. how things would be like now had the coin toss gone the other way. tears grip me, they do sometimes, quite uncontrollably. but in doing this, i feel human again. to mourn to cry to vent my emotions against the four walls. and maybe when she see's me like that, she'll know i still miss her and she'll smile because i miss her. don't want her to see us moving along just fine, she'd get the wrong idea.}

Surely, people with incredible grammar & vocabulary, or perhaps articulation in short, can express this so aptly & succinctly.

She wants it all. Diamond rings & shiny cars/

2009-09-15T21:24:00.002+08:00

I'm having a splitting headache, why.

Trying hard to figure it out, what's the worth & point of all these chase? (& at this point, John asks "What Chase? _ _ _ _ _ _ ah?" HAHA.

I want some solid time of prayer now, I need to, align my will to His, & not mine to His.

Was damn worried & perplexed about the degree of my effort, whether it was enough, whether it was pleasing, whether it's sufficient to get me promoted successfully (without the R papers that is). But, no more! Even though seriously, why is there so many things to memorise?/?

2009-09-12T21:13:00.001+08:00

Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days

I am Yours regardless of
The clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

2009-09-08T22:35:00.001+08:00

HAPPPPPPPYYYY SWEEEEET 17th!

LUB YOU BABE. <3

A letter to my dearest friend.

2009-09-05T21:08:00.003+08:00

Hey friend,

Today I thought of you exceptionally a lot.

I realised that, you still care about me.

I realised I miss talking to you, even though I try so much to deny it.

How have you been doing?

Are you reading this?

Maybe I should leave this here long enough, till you're ready to acknowledge it.

People tell me the issue is, perhaps, that you mean too much to me.

I don't know, really.

Because I don't even know how to define you.

A thousand of awesome terms I could use -

Brother, Gorgor (the way you would spell it), best friend, confidante

I think I'll never be able to forget the friendship we shared.

The numerous calls I made to you in the middle of the night,

just to let you hear my whimpers.

The times you told me I'm worth so much more,

& the time you sacrificed time meant to study for SPA just to talk to me.

The times I was down & low & you would come out to meet me upon receiving my call.

The times you were worried if I was fine or not.

That one time two years back when I was angry with you

in which you did not hesitate to apologise,

even though it wasn't even your fault.

The many (or almost every) deepest darkest secrets of mine,

which I believe have stayed within you even till now.

& many more instances, do I need to say more?

I like talking to you, not cause "you look like a santa claus"

I just like you, there's no explanation for it.

You're my friend!

No, not an ordinary one, not just a good one,

but one who's been through

(for real) thick & thin with me,

rollercoasters of emotions with me.

You are part of JOYFOO's life.

Will you talk to me again, please?

Love you too, Kim. <3

[Just KID-around Like Mad Man]

2009-08-25T17:55:00.003+08:00

Today, I enjoyed the random camwhoring session. :)

Five of us, JKLMM (Haha, thanks to a change of name for Dom to Lom :D)

don't understand? Inside joke.

That's Kim for you, haha :D

XOXO & <33333s!

2009-08-24T21:06:00.002+08:00

Promos in.. 32 DAYS. 32 DAYS?!!! Feeling the growing intense pressure to do well, though I try my best not to show it, nor show the grrrreeaater reason and motivation to do well. I just know to do it. Trying not to risk any chances thugh at times I let slip & slack awhile, feel guilty after & get back down to the notes. I think the pressure is amounting too much for me to carry, I don't even dare imagine what will happen of me when my grades are deemed unsatisfactory. Not having high hopes, but still some hope I guess.

Haven't been to service, AG & YF for two weeks consecutively. Hmm.. Honestly, it brings to me a quirky sense of freedom. I don't know if by writing this, people will start shooting me with comments or start all the judgements that we humans are so erred to. Recently, life's took a great turn on me.. I start to feel really constrained by my faith, I start to question so much, start to disbelieve, start to ponder & more importantly, start to stray. I mean, I still do believe in the existence of this higher being who created the heavens and the earth, but just who is He to me? I question. I stumble, & it's driving fear in me, yet I just can't stop doubting. Please don't judge me, I just am trying to settle my own thoughts.. So I'm sorry I haven't been accountable in that sense, to my SG, my AG & AG leaders.. I haven't been responsible. I know all these, but things are just going haywire for me..

& I just need to find out who I am, my purpose (after so many events this year that is enough to change me to someone else), & God's work in my life.

Pray for me. thanks.

2009-08-19T21:29:00.001+08:00

I can't bring myself to sit & study, I'm distracted.

Oh no, tonight's gonna be a night of wishful and foolish thinking.

2009-08-18T19:31:00.001+08:00

Found this on facebook & thought it was funny. Can't even rmb where was this

But nice (:

2009-08-18T00:56:00.002+08:00

A good friend in a time of need. :) It's almost 1am now, I'm still at EOM. Thank God for Kenji who calmed my nerves by talking to me, and letting me rant, & Marcus for answering all my queries in such hours of the night.

joy. says:

haha you know i redoing my entire eom. I just suddenly decided to change article!

marcus says:

y leh

joy. says:

just feel insecure about my reliability

joy. says:

of the source

marcus says:

wa..

marcus says:

ok la..i that time also suddenly change source

joy. says:

Haha hopefully it's for the better.

joy. says:

Eh Marcus Teo

marcus says:

?!?!?

joy. says:

THANKS x10000000000000000000000000000000000000000 for just being online man. You have no idea how stressed & frustrated I was just now over this and stuff. Thank God got you, if not I die, maybe crying at one corner hahaha

marcus says:

lol...no problem..that time u pei me do econs also wad

joy. says:

Hehe, at this moment, you're like an angel. At this moment. :)

marcus says:

lol..ok lor

Hey Friend, can you tell me why?

2009-08-17T20:35:00.002+08:00

Why things between us, or how I see them, has metamorphosed, into something so foreign, so unforeseen, so disturbing, it's completely hindering my senses, burning me alive.

Anyway, today.. First thing in the morning I got a comment that my skirt is ugly/I have an ugly skirt. Just had no idea what was that for, haha, so out of the blue. School ended speedily, and went to Parkway Parade to get sweets for Jeremy, haha I owe him one. :) controlled so badly not to eat them before seeing him tomorrow. Yay, I conquered the temptation! :D Did tutorial at Macs while waiting for Kenny.

Kenny shared his conversion story, sounded like a story, but convincing surely, and surely God works through amazing & unanticipated ways. :) I like it. The bus with Kenny & Michelle was an interesting one. Our conversations & laughters ranged from talking about twitching eyelids to muscle aches at our asses. Of them all, stupid faces evolved & were officially created (ie. Michelle's twitching eyelids, ask her to show you haha).

Cheerful day, half-productive day, but back to the EOM, of which I don't even know if Miss Wong would read. GG.

I SMILE YOU SMILE

2009-08-13T00:10:00.002+08:00

All of us today. Not to miss out the fun+Econs critics

<33

& I like this photo v much, cuz I think nice. & cool. Marcus sparstic face.

Yay.

Let X be today.

Therefore, X=happy day.

K bye.

If I should be so bold, but I never said I would;

2009-08-10T22:27:00.002+08:00

Kept checking my phone today, waiting for an sms.

Gave enough thought yesterday, no I'm not going to go crazy, cry like a baby, but life's going back to it's natural routine, to things I promised I would fulfil & keep.

Yesterday was a complete new experience, over the past five years. I felt like, I nearly lost a brother, a best friend, someone who would mean BFFzx to me. You are the best, irreplaceable. Although yesterday for the first time, I wanted to just kneel down & cry in your presence to tell you how hurt I was, cuz I thought, (yes my wishful thinking) that you were the one in the Whole Wide World who would still understand my hurts, actions & the need for some security. I'm sorry, that I made you feel uncomfortable, like maybe I was strangling you, making you claustrophobic.. I don't know. Sorry for making you frustrated & confused. But you still mean v v v v v much, as much as you said I mean to you, cuz our friendship is the purest of the purest, yes?

Truce. <333

Back to school!

Perfect/

2009-08-01T21:02:00.003+08:00

I'm here to testify how God worked in my life this week. It was, awesomely impactful.

In the beginning of the week, I started school feeling absolutely dreadful & full of hard feelings. I felt awful, felt like no one understood, felt like the end of the world cuz even my results were so disappointing.

I thought I was going crazy. Well, maybe I was. I was contemplating leaving church for awhile, I started to see my service to God as "unclean & unworthy". Yes I quote you that, cuz that was the kind of feeling that overwhelmed me for nearly two months now. Maybe you could call that disillusionment. I just couldn't accept things as it is, & that will never change. Say, I still can't accept that such an important person in my life has left me... Guess the experience was too traumatic. It really was.

Till on Wednesday, I suddenly felt some hope. I finally could hear God calling out to me so profusely, & I finally felt that though it seemed like everyone had forgotten about me, or couldn't care less, He who created me & allowed all this grief to be present, hasn't forsaken me! In fact, I just refused to let Him do His thing. Before this, I couldn't remember when was the last time I had a proper quiet time (soild quiet time with the Lord) or prayed cuz I really wanted to connect with Him, but I did remember when was the last time I lied about the state of my Quiet time/Life cuz proper QT would mean life. It was last Friday.

But on Wednesday..

After school, the girls & I went to Cedar for training. Charissa came to me, told me she was present at YF's captain's ball competition & that she was interested to come to church. I was.. amazed. I can seriously only stand amazed at God's wonderful Perfect Plan. A few days before this, I was on the verge of breaking down, thinking that there's no way I could break free & escape this cloud of darkness that has enshrined me. I was thinking of taking a break from SGLeadering (being totally honest here, whoever reading this), cuz I wanted to be able to come "clean & pure" before Him, but I found that I just couldn't, cuz I came to YF each week with such a heavy heart. But, God, so amazingly & critically placed an opportunity right before me to bring someone new to YF, & to follow up on her. Was He trying to say something to me? He was, I figured.

On fateful Thursday, GP paper 1 was given out. I honestly didn't even dare hold any hopes for the grades anymore. Of course, I didn't blame God for the atrocious grades.. But with sweet surprise, I scored among the higher ones in class. No, I'm not letting pride get in my way. I was just very surprised, & even more thankful. At that moment, I started to feel a tinge of hope, I felt like as though God was whispering "JOY, YOUR LIFE ISN'T CRUMBLING DOWN. I AM HERE. & I LISTEN, I UNDERSTAND." I was overjoyed. To a certain extent, can you try to imagine that? Before that, I felt like I was close to depression, not lying. And later that day during History tutorial, I stepped into class & Mr Khoo said was giving out History papers & He encouragingly said to me" Don't worry Joy, you did good work." Of course and expectedly enough, the results were pretty good. Just had that really shiok feeling definitely.. & I was more affirmative that God was speaking to me. That I should not despair, cuz there's much more to hope for.. In a more complete life with Christ. I was genuinely happy that day, even though not to mention that I heard a piece of sad news when I reached home. It did make me ponder whether God was mocking me. I guess not, shouldn't think that way either. I was upset, of course I was... ... It hit me hard. But I chose to believe, to have a more faith. My faith shouldn't be one that gets swallowed up or chewed by my cowardness when the going gets tough. It should be more than that, I know it.

In all, I'm just so thankful, I'm back in God's arms.

& this is not through my own efforts, or Sam's or Michelle's.

Promises.

2009-07-26T21:30:00.002+08:00

I am feeling very very very down now.

Although I felt much better when I could just talk to Michelle & cried & listened to advice & read promises in Isaiah & eat Percy Pigs.

XOXO. <3

:(

2009-07-25T00:53:00.002+08:00

Y'know, this is getting straight on my nerves. I can't stop it, can't talk about it. Not something I can articulate with words so openly. I don't fancy this feeling. My heart and mind, racing with one another, going crazy & hysterical. I think I'd call for a time-out soon, this game is getting far too heavy for me to bear. Plus, the disappointing results, I know I said "nevermind", but it crushed my spirit & my soul completely, for certain reasons.

Do you know where I'm drifting off to? No idea too, emo people don't make sense. I don't make good sense. Right now, I seem to have just let go of myself. No dreams, no commitment (I'm so sorry), no peace, no love, & my relationships haywire.

I just don't know what to say. Lord, help me. Snap me out of this.

Stuck.

2009-07-19T22:32:00.003+08:00

It has hit an all time low. Honestly, I feel like a mess right now.

Hmmm.. taking a look at my Post-MYEs To-Do List!

1. Small Group Outing & all the small group stuff!!!! URGENT
2. Starting Bible Study
3. Go Ikea (Expedition)
4. Just let loose & play for a week, HAHA. (I'm not counting the Jumbo Training week, to be fair, hehe)

Ranked in urgency & according to my priorities, I think I'll do them simultaneously anyway. & I have to start, NOW.

Surprisingly, I'm not tired now. I slept at 4:30am this morning to wake up for service at 7:30am thanks to watching my newly bought Taiwan Drama, in the excuse of "pampering myself after the exams". Ya ya ya.

I remember I said I wanted a break, but in the end, I allowed myself to be pressured not to. Broken.

Because I don't neeeeeeed your _ _ _ _

2009-07-18T14:51:00.002+08:00

I just need someone to sit down & listen, hang out, talk, understand, give me a pat & let me cry.

Because you're the rarest of the diamonds & the stars

2009-07-13T20:04:00.002+08:00

When I think of you, I really think of royalty & diamonds for real! :) All of a sudden I miss you much much, like I haven't been talking to you & all... My gossip/ranting/complaining partner for a year! I suddenly feel we're so distant, seems like we can never find time to meet!! DD:

Read this once again from your card to me on my sixteenth <3

Omega touching & it goes:
"You must promise me we'll never lose touch okay? You're irreplaceable, my one and only 'SOLUBOOL' Chemistry lab partner. AWW. :( May we be friends forever, I'll always be here for you, so don't hesitate to call me if you feel like ranting. P.S I'll love you till forever & a day."

Omgosh, sweetheart, read this I wish: I really miss you tons, & I hope the friendship stays forever like the memories we had cuz I haven't spoken to you in months! :(((((((

Must do something.

Don't mean to impose, Boy

2009-07-12T16:38:00.004+08:00

On top of the world; again.

ANGSTY DAY again. K, please ask me what's wrong with me. Actually I know why, I just don't wanna admit it & say it out. Nevermind, I just gotta learn not to place all my trust on a fellow human, it's forever not gonna work out, if this pulls me away from Him, which to a certain extent if did. Wrong.

I want to see exactly what You see
And be just who I was designed to be
I'm so sure now
That I'm Yours now
Make me what you will.

Give me a reason to smile, that kind that will last for a while;

2009-07-11T20:46:00.002+08:00

Today is full of angst except during Bible Study which proved to be really fruitful, maybe I'm just blowing it too big. But I don't know, have you tried being left alone, feeling so disregarded & just hang around with groups of people in despair? I don't know for you, but it sucks for me. Today's just compounded a few others some time ago, I am angsty, shouldn't have such an expectation. I just..

I can't wait for Boys over Flowers to start....

2009-07-10T19:13:00.003+08:00

MISS YOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Finally, you're booking out tonight. Everything just fits nicely, exams have concluded, & you're coming out. :) HAHAHA SO HAPPPPPPPYYYYYYYY MANZZZXZ. I have so may things to say, rant, complain, laugh, joke just need to see you now hahahaaa. BEST BUD! :D

Chem paper today was... a race against time! Just chionging my brains into working & thinking faster. Hate my structured paper to be messy & scared of getting my workings wron, cuz cannot use correction tape, so write out on scrap paper first then confirm my working then copy down on question paper. So laychay & time consuming. =X But, it's over, & lots to learn from this, experience. Okay, gonna prepare for tmr! MY LONG PLANNED & ANTICIPATED IKEA EXPEDITION! <33

I DON'T KNOW MY MATH///////

2009-07-09T17:53:00.002+08:00

Today was Math Paper, it was GG. GGGGGGG>>>>> I've never felt more stupid & disappointed before. No, not disappointed with the impending doom I'd face when the results are released, but DISAPPOINTED with myself, just what on earth am I doing with this life? I have clearly pushed that promise I made three months ago to the back of my mind. I have to do something about this. On a lighter & happier note, the first three papers before today were pretty smooth & sweet.

Now, it's one more fight which spells W-A-R. Chemistry. It's you die, or I perish. I seriously need to save myself & pull myself out from that pit of 'U's. I didn't study to get my paper ungraded, please no. If not might as well don't study.

Exams haven't been too stressful though, just a complete drag. No pimples. Drag, drag, drag. Can't wait for tomorrow to come. 11am, end of drag, end of guilt, end of my useless life right now. Right now, it's seriously just a count down for me, two more days, two more days & I can relief some of this dark clouds.

Joy's pretty upset these two days. Not just cuz I don't know my Math well enough, I just have been feeling rather shitty about myself, ashamed.

It's complicated

2009-06-29T17:49:00.002+08:00

Today was a day of unpacking & cleaning & organising &... Steps after moving house, I hate to move house! :( I'll never want to move again if possible. I miss my small, cosy purple room. I miss my built-in wardrobe at the hougang apartment which is big enough to store ALLLL my clothes & stuff, in fact some of the stuff are still in that wardrobe, cuz there's just too much to carry across. I don't miss John, he keeps going "Joy Foo" all of a sudden. K, I know you want the laptop, which means I'm cutting this short, or just shorter. Sian, he's gonna be home the entire week!

Today is my second last day of MC, but of course I ain't exactly behaving like a sick person. Walking all the way out to NTUC & Heartland to get stuff for the new house, or rather a long abandoned but now refurnished house. And, did I mention that the walk out is a hell long. Bathed before, came back in perspiration & then bathed again. Haha. Didn't manage to study too much of Econs like I planned, cuz my new room is just toooooo BIG I need to organise. Sianxzxz. If I don't organise it till I like it, I'm sure to be unable to get down to hardcore mugging & work.

Just came from Danny's blog, & realised to my horror, I haven't learnt how to use the GC all this while! DIE. Okay, I have a week to do that. But first, I need to go buy batteries for my GC. Well done, JOY. I'm horrible. But no, the GC is just so heavy to slip into my bag. I am even too lazy to reach for it, much less buy batteries. But, I'm going to do this. :) I will. get the batteries by tmr. D:

Okay, & Joy misses two people dearly now. & know what she's doing. Haha, reading christmas cards written by them, cuz they are the only letters the two of them wrote to me. Hehe, just read one, which went a whole long space of words of how she couldn't find her YF Camp name tag & she'll exchange with me the year after, before finally ending with a "Blessed Christmas". Cute, I like. Haha, do you know who you are. If you're reading this, remember you were supposed to call me last night! Seeya!

Bound and Gagged, I fight

2009-06-25T12:36:00.004+08:00

It's hard to find time, to sit down and blog lately, I realised. But, now that I am pathetically confined at home (as the hospital made me to), I simply have a world of a time to do this. But resting at home surely is much needed, after a crazy past four weeks of holls. Speaking of that, thank God MYEs are being postponed, if not really GG. I recall saying that I wish I'd fall sick on the week of MYEs then I can just not study and sleep at home, & forget about school. & God granted my wish, can't believe it. I should smack my mouth, He has made me eat my own words. The past two days have been horrible and miserable. High fever, breathing problems, cough & sore throat. & the worst was breaking out into cold sweat & bones & muscles aching everywhere, every second. PLUS. The Hospital just had to confine me for 5 hours?? They just gave me a chair and a table in front of me. There were many of us sitted in that fashion with like a metre of separation in between each of us, as though we were sitting for a major exam together. Every move I made, I felt as though my bones were going to break! It sucked ttm. SCHOOOOOOLLLL is starting soon, I can't believe it. & I got the most kuazhang MC ever, seven days!!

Highlights of my June Holls:

- DID NOT study much :( this is so not me for me to say this, it's a shameful confession I make and shout out loud! (SOL, lol)
- Retreat was amazing, it was a blessing throughout & the Lord has certainly seen us through every bit.
-Seeing Terence almost every single day!! for retreat prep and church camp & retreat itself.
- CARER-CAREE during Retreat turned out to be the same person. It was epic!

My hard work paid off :)

-LYDIA'S 20th & JUNIPHER'S 17th!

Junipher's midnight surprise!

The two princesses had awesome surprises! :) & they're a pair of happy carer-caree. :)

But I stopped my counting when I saw your face

2009-05-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

Hoohoo, today declared full day!! (: just some random pictures and pictures for today!

PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME HAPPY :) :)

the clique :)

in between lectures, when I'm not playing TAPTAP REVENGE haha!

just bored.

BFF <3333

She's such a cutie pie, love her ttm! ;)

the brother :))

Happy Dominic Martinez and Michelle Liew

Finally, HAPPY SWEET SEXY 17th BABEEEEE!

Look at her surprised face, hehehe.

blowing the candle, which cost 20 cents -.- even though we bought a slice of cake.

Lev and Cherie!

Our pretty birthday card!

All of us, part of the surprise!

This post took really long, stupid slow and lagging internet and huge files! But overall happy day ;) happier than yesterday. so YAY

WHAT TEAM.

2009-05-26T16:24:00.001+08:00

Serene has sexy legs. :D

Why is this emotion overwhelming my soul?

2009-05-25T19:56:00.004+08:00

Tell me why.

Spiderman II showing on TV. I think I have watched it an umpteenth time but still, the story just does not want to dwell up there.

Today was SOCCER FINALS! It was exciting ttm. Haha, all the action. Cool (: the awesome match today has made me like watching soccer more :) I think the guys were good, and the spirit at the end of the match and prize presentation was awesome many many too.

Today my phone agitated and angered me. It hanged in the middle of Chem lecture and all that hanging drained my battery level from 50% to 4%. Stupid phone, made me phoneless for a day, what insecurity.

Today I pondered about stuff again. This mind of mine seems to be always wondering these days. I want to sum all these insecurities up, but I can't seem to be able to do so. Stuff that I never questioned in the past, emotions I haven't felt in a long while (or have been refraining to do so). Ahh. SAM TAN never reply my message, I sad, scared I said something wrong to him :O :(

Those scenes of that cold room is flashing in my mind again. WHY. God, take this pain away. That room, so crowded but so omgosh, how do I go on, I miss you v v v much.

"my children will never get to see their grandmother, chinese new year will be spent without mum, she will never see me graduate and i wouldn't have the chance of giving her a portion of my first pay. and you know, i'm only 19 now, not even an adult or earning wages. my brothers are 15. its worse because i actually think so much of the consequent life ahead. i'm still a kid."

This always makes me cry, and this post was left on korkor's blog for a month? Everytime I go there, I tear, I lose control, lose control of all I have reserved for the innerself to withstand. Sometimes, I go there unknowingly too, even though it serves as a painful reminder of her departure and I know it will make me upset, but I don't know, I guess I needed a release.

Where are you, when I really need you, friend.

Swing swing swing

2009-05-23T22:23:00.002+08:00

Wet games today was funnn! (: So happy today, just really shag and there's CIP tmr, but at least I look forward to team company :)) &thankfully Daddy's fetching me to east coast, if not!

So, I'm gonna sleep. Don't know why just needed to come here & type stuff. Should upload my camera photos soon, keep dragging ittttt. Oh, forgot. My announcement script for tmr!!

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag

2009-05-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

Lala finally I find time to blog the pictures up, gotta send photos to Shermaine soon, haha, she's been so anxious and excited about it. Wednesday- watched VJ vs RJ bball match. :) so many churchies went, I like :) Amanda, Terence, Rach, Joey, Shermaine & I. :) (See below)

Danny, please know that we lub euuu verrrryyy muccccchhh worhxx. <333333 And finally the highlight (or so I say so :P) Picture with #9!!! (my bball idol :OOO Ely you should have been there, then you could share in my excitement. Babe, you cheer up too k. I also lub euu worhxxz!)

Raffles #9 with Terence & I :) (swee!)

Haha, will never forget how crazy I went that day :) and managed to catch Marcus Wolverine Teo play too :) Someone so zai ah! Next year must see him play again :) Oh, and lastly, thanks Amanda for the photos :) & keeping your camera in one piece! <3

I'm facing a non-existent goalkeeper (yet)

2009-05-20T23:41:00.004+08:00

Haha, I could very well try pray one year for it too.

Okay, why am I here? WHY AM I HERE. Tomorrow there's history lecture test and like XAMAGAH I haven't really started studying for it. Flung, sure thing.

Actually, I was really tired just now, after BS. But after taking a nice hot bath and doing the retreat registration form, I feel revived and rejuvenated! I need to study for history, if not will get owned real badly. Actually I'm also waiting for Amanda to send me an important photo! It was like the highlight of today, that got me all high and jumpy. Haha.

Now is time for history!

And baby, that's a case of my wishful thinking

2009-05-19T21:14:00.002+08:00

Today was a day of rest. As in, I availed rest to myself haha. The unfortunate taste of defeat hasn't sunk in totally, but VJVB is more than just her goal for a championship trophy, we know we are much more than that. We are team. & I'm sure the relationships we share constitute much more than what anything else can bring.

I couldn't pull myself up today. The rest was very much needed. Surprisingly, yesterday (after dinner w the team), it felt like the end of the week (even though in actual fact the week hasn't really started yet). Met Mich at Changi Airport and that woman made me wait for an hour! Haha. thankfully, the airport is more than just aeroplanes and take offs. In fact, it's a good place for window shopping and sorting out thoughts. I felt like as though I was part of those cliche drama serials featuring a character walking aimlessly in the vast amount of space with the floor tiled in black and peach, searching for memories of a lost one, who's left. What agony, to liken myself today to something I usually see on TV. The pain's been persisting. Every now and then, the visions relive themselves.

Tomorrow's back to school, and the start of completing an unfinished mountain pile of work. And filing. Brilliant.

2009-05-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

Just came home from a long talk with Sam Tan at my void deck, like really a long talk. Haven't had such a time with him for quite awhile, him being in NS and all. But I do know, that no one else would be like YOU SAM (other than the family and God, of course) who love and care enough for me to answer my every call, talk to me to cheer me up even when you're in camp lying on the bed late at night when rest would mean so much to you, and do whatever it takes to make me feel better. How do I actually articulate this, but life without you will kinda suck I know that. I have been so angsty and emo for the past few days (and even more so after reading someone's blog post), but you helped clear that air of misunderstanding and emoness that really engulfed me. You mean so much to me, you're like family. Thank God for you.

Just came from someone's blog, and I suddenly hurt so much, feel like I've been a really bad friend. I'm sorry. I didn't show some empathy or do anything that could help. I actually feel like I'm already rendered helpless so nothing I say would help. I think I couldn't even make you feel like I would listen? sorry.

2009-05-15T23:18:00.001+08:00

Sipei just called and I'm feeling sad now, cuz' I can't go out with her tmr. We seriously need to meet up soooooon! Our meetups just keep dragging! DDDD: And that sucks :(

Tmr's the last training with the J2s :( and then after finals, it's like down to serious catching up, The thought just creeps me. Haha. Sat for econs test today (like finally). Hopefully I get 5 and above! Had like little to write, but I just had to get it over and done with!! And I glad it's over (:
This week flew past. Crazy. Went to CCAB everyday, EVERYDAY! Didn't keep check with days man these past five days. Before I knew it, oh it's the weekends again!!! :) Love a weekend break, and some chill time. Or maybe not.

JOYFOO needs to do her work. BIG TIME. D:

I hate to chase in this futile marathon

2009-05-13T22:39:00.000+08:00

I have been holding my breath,

For too many nights in a row,
And somewhere on coastlines unknown to me
You paint your dreams,
With reds and blues and greens.
Yea you're painting daffodils by the sea,
Without me

Okay Joy is currently exploring Xanga and am having great fun! (: Today was a bittersweet day.. the loss, the win. It was pretty heartbreaking to watch the last few seconds of the bball match today (VJ vs IJ). But, what was truly commendable was the spirit even in the last seconds of the match! Nevermind, one last match. which is against Raffles, what to say.

Rushed off to watch the guys vb match at CCAB. THEY WON! THEY'RE IN TOP FOUR!!!! :D What bliss, call for celebration. and what joy to say the least. So happy (: then headed down to church for some chillax, haha playing bridge with Mr Jeremy Khoo (hehe). SORRY JEREMY D: Is I lousy. Haha, and playing bball with the peeps were funnnn too, XAMAGAHHH..

Okay, need to do GPP> but Marcus not replying me!!!! :(

2009-05-10T14:37:00.002+08:00

Happy Mothers' Day!

JOY IS JUST FEELING EMO TODAY.

2009-05-07T20:48:00.002+08:00

I can't put my thoughts into flow. Let's do it point-form. Shitzx, how to finish two history essays then? D: Right now, I have the urge to call Mayboo to rant, but how can I? It's like three hours ++ to her 22nd. Shall spare you the torture, Mayboo. See how much I <3 you!

1. Number one, great big number one. Kimberly is first in everything, HAHA. Today the way Mervin reacted to Kim was the best man. "K lor, you win, you're always first!" Kim, finally someone outtalked you, not like DOM! :D

2. Tomorrow's the crucial bball match between VJ and AJ. It's like how to bear having to stay in school for lessons while they fight their hearts out/? So, Mich and I went to ask Ms Tan to include us in the supporters' list. I hope she does!

3. VJVB girls won today's match.

4. Tmr's the much awaited Music Fest, hmmm.. but I'm not going, I shall save the 20 bucks for dinner with the girls tmr <3 unless ticks for Music fest suddenly drop from the sky!

5. Mother's Day is around the corner. It sucks to not know how to react when people happily discuss about Mother's Day. Better still, today the Ritz Apple Strudel saleswoman kept like telling me bout some heart shaped pie thingy for Mother's day, she was trying to persuade me to buy lah, how should I react? It's like "OH no, please don't start this again."

6. I just quarrelled with Dad/ How much does this suck? Many many. It hurts like hurts alot. I just don't know what to say anymore. I'm damn sad and I'm wondering if this is gonna go on forever.

7. I just questioned God about what He is doing to my life, as I start to recollect life's bits and pieces (so far). Realised I haven't had a good and smooth-sailing 16 years so far, prolly as compared to any other 17 year old. Actually, I'm quite surprised I haven't gone berserk yet, or like start to mutilate myself. I guess that's why God instilled extra fear of pain in me. Pain surely doesn't excite me, or calm me, for sure.

8. My quarrel with Daddy has brought about much negative emotions in me, I really need to talk to someone. I always avoid this, but really, "Why is life so unfair?"

9. I think I'm not going to be able to complete my homework.

10. But, I must do GPP (Group Project Proposal). For that, I must say: thank God for a nice PW Grouping. (:

11. I'm infatuated, but crushed at the same time.

K, this is seeeerrriously ultra emo post. bye.

Sometimes dear life, you run across a love unknown

2009-05-04T18:18:00.002+08:00

Warm was the sun
That covered my body so
Reminded me of you

Today I finally completed my International History essay, I wanna complete the Southeast Asian History one too. Okay, see how. Today, I have more important things to strike off the list. Bible study, I'm super looking forward to doing it later. (:

Today caught the bball match with Terence. Good match, it was so close in the first two quarters! But in the third and fourth quarter, omgosh, I didn't dare to miss even a bit of it. Watched with my eyes wide open. I was so nervous!!! Raffles won.

Okay, back to school tomorrow, enjoy it, Joy!

the telephone line's not breaking?

2009-05-03T22:05:00.001+08:00

Baby, ring me up maybe?

History essay. Why can't I seem to formulate an argument to continue where I am currently stuck. C'mon Joy, where has your flair flown too? (LOL) Must be thinking too much.

And hello you, relax (: not forgetting you in my prayers. Somehow I feel you're like really special, and I wouldn't say I'm envious for what God gives you and not to me whenever I uncontrollably try to evaluate your gifts and talents and more importantly, your dedication. You're different I guess, that's how I perceive you. And though I would say I'd definitely be most glad if I could have your achievements (which I don't that's why I cannot totally relate to the feelings intoxicating you like right now), but surely I see a reason why He places you there & why He gives you those talents, & why you have an important week ahead, & why you're feeling crazy stressed about it. Press on, because you know He hears your thoughts and sighs, & you know He brings you through everything, big or small, sad or happy. (:

GOGO! Focus (:

Will you save me a secret message tonight?

2009-04-27T20:42:00.002+08:00

Wow, I ain't angry already. No wait, actually I think I'm still pissed, but just not so much impulsive as I was just now with my words of complain and criticism. But, I won't take back any of those words I said, honestly. Very pissed considerably in quite a while. It's like x100000000000000000000000000 of what I felt yesterday. I think I'm going insane someone save me from doing anything rash, till i GG.

Okay, Michelle, I won't be rash, if you're reading this. (: But man, today was bad. To my greatest horror and shock, disgust blah blah, I see a different side of you, and you just had to erode that last bit of respect I have for you. Think some "compassion" is needless and totally unnecessary. And oh no, "Why am I putting myself thru this shit again?" It's like history repeating itself. Tons of disagreements with you, forever and ever, I can never see a resolution to this. I guess, I'll just have to continue bearing with it, won't be long anyway. Can't wait already.

Okay, done and bye.

Btw, sorry ah. Actually I had this deal with myself I won't complain about anyone ambiguously or not here, but this is seriously unbearable. Okay, bye.

To have and to hold

2009-04-20T21:41:00.003+08:00

MUMMY I MISS YOU <3>

Rng sent out the sms for mid week bible study. Question this week: "God, what is Your purpose for me?" So, I wanna really ask "God, what is Your purpose for me?" What is it. What is it, what is it. Still figuring.

The past one month or so has been an emotional roller coaster, long ride it is. Tiring, if only anyone could relate to it. My siblings? Daddy? God, I'm sure He's hearing, and He knows how much I'm hurting, how much it really sucks. All the guilt, that emptiness so hard to fill. Grief so hard to bear. Over the past one month, I felt like as if I was forced to put up a terrible faccade. I felt helpless at times, I couldn't wipe off that reality slapped right into my face. I wanna talk about it, but how to? (or who to?) It's hard to. Oh no, a broken train of thought. But I guess the crux, He took the fall, and thought of me, above all. Not to forget how great that gift was. C'mon Joy.

School's a dread these days. Thankfully enough, it's halfway through Term 2. Can't wait for the term to end, can't wait for a break, can't wait for an emotional rest. Can't wait for less dependence on this fallen loser world, I need You. Show me the way, please.

But I thank God for friends, who stood by me and were great encouragement and reminders to cling onto Him and His abundant strength. <3

CHASE CHASE CHASE/

2009-03-08T21:16:00.002+08:00

Hello Caroline says to update my blog, and tada here it is. Actually not like many reads anyway, my blog is so dead ZzZZz.

I'm looking forward to the week ahead, cuz' it's the last week of Term 1. And I'm gonna watch korkor POP on Wednesday & there's VOG this coming Friday, at least I'm spared from a full week of lessons. YAY! (:

Anyway, today's a happy day (:(:(: I enjoyed the weekends, though it was to some extent draining, but definitely fulfilling (: I enjoyed training! Never perspired so much in training before. & Sat's message during YF was insightful, & yeah, felt like God was speaking directly to me, like those verses were right smack directed at me. I feel encouraged, and I know I'm not alone in fighting the spiritual warfare to be a good, tested christian witness for Him.

Lastly, the happiest thing this weekend.... I MISSSSSS YOU SOOOOO MUCH FRIEND. WE MUST TALK & CATCH UP SOON. So happy you replied my sms & we kinda made up already. (I wonder if you'll read this) But you made my weekends! :)

Anyway, lastly, SAM TAN is getting more attractive. Haha, random, but NS is doing you good. BYE!

Please just don't play with me

2009-02-17T21:06:00.004+08:00

Lalala, feels so foreign and unfamiliar to be here again. So much to say & rant, yet they can't be made public & online. Must be conscious of what I say (: lest I stumble others.

Oh wow, I'm JC1 now. Seems so like a big thing. Actually, maybe not so big a thing. I wanna say: I don't really like school, or rather I just don't really appreciate the school system as of now. I have no idea what's stopping me from adapting, but I know it's definitely not just the location and building, something much more than that.

I feel like such an anti-social in school, I am making little effort (honestly) to come out of that dangerous yet comfortable bubble of mine, my comfort zone. I really like being in there y'knowww. I look forward to church everyday. That place I can call home & feel some warmth and love. Or, Cedar. But well, I realllyy realllyy need to go back to the Bible every day!

Though my short time in VJ so far hasn't been sweet & cheery, I am very grateful for the faithful one, who never left me to fend for my own, like an idiot loner. He gave me smiles when I needed them most badly. He sent people into my life to cheer me up, and I am absolutely thankful too, that He sent people who need me to care for and to minister too. (: Yes, through this short two weeks, I've once again seen His amazing grace & love, a whole new experience which just makes Him & all of Him such a joy & beauty. I truly stand amazed.

I can sing in the troubled times, sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step and fall down again

I can sing ‘cause You pick me up, sing ‘cause You’re there

I can sing ‘cause You hear me, Lord, when I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath, sing for I know That

I’ll sing with the angels and the saints around the throne

sprinkle them tactlessly; those words could kill

2009-01-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

It's almost the end of a Sunday and just yesterday, I realised how much I've been missing out about. Three weeks, I feel so out of touch with some of the churchies. I miss many people nehx. And thankfully, I'm gonna catch up with some of them, soon. (:

Sigh, yesterday my heart broke, for the first time in a long while man. Very long while. I haven't felt that kind of disturbing pain in my heart & thoughts all day long in a while, & I do not like to make friends with it. It sucks, & it's worrying. It hurts, and I can't do anything. D: I can just pray, pray that God's guiding Hands will pull you through, pal, best best pal.

Anyway, Class chalet is up tmr! (FINALLY) It felt like it's never coming. And B girls first zonals match up tmr at Jurong West Sports Hall (:O). I wanna go! But who's gonna come along with me? D: Maybe I'd end up a lonely soul down there. I know that place is huge, just hope I won't get lost if I do go tmr :D

Anyway, got GGLs photo from camp! Ah, and I luvvvvvvv it. (:

TENG KOK WENG, YOU'RE SO CUTE, YOU OUGHT TO BE STORED IN A BAG AND BROUGHT HOME, haha!

The extraordinary come alive;

2009-01-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

Woo. 2009 is "officially" here. The O's has been concluded. It's over, whoo, it's really over.

Remembering what I typed in my previous post, the naggings, scoldings, *snubbings* we received have all translated themselves into reasons we should give full thanks to the dedicated teachers of the proud Class of 2008. The release of results was a day of pleasure, all in all. (:

Reason #1

We were exhilarated when the principal announced the EXTRAORDINARY results we attained. That announcement marked the end of the long two months wait for the mean L1R5. One year ago, we were sitting in the hall while Mrs Ouyang happily announced the mean L1R5 our seniors attained. I remember feeling the pressure of having to do better than the seniors because they were obviously very much more a mugger batch than the Class of 2008. BUT, BUT, BUT we proved our abilities when we broke Cedar's mean L1R5 record with a suave score of 9.0. :D Beat that man. We proved that PSLE isn't a good gauge of knowledge and interllect, HAHA.

Reason #2

I also remember our teachers always giving us "small talks", hoping to "wake us up" from lalaland so that we'll start slogging our butts off for the O's, and not bring humiliation to the school (I guess). Though 4Z was repeatedly one of the last few classes in the cohort (be it for MYEs or Prelims), we didn't give up nor let the teachers' reverse psychology get us down. Finally, from a mean score of 19++ in the prelims, we managed to score a impressive mean score of 8.6 in the actual O's. I'm so proud, so proud of the great improvement we've made, and the togetherness we held on to. :)

I'm just happy.

Thank God for everything, for without Him, we can do nothing.

THE LONG OVERDUE CHASE

2009-01-07T16:40:00.004+08:00

Yes, it's seven days past 2009 I know I know. But, the feeling of the new year hasn't exactly sunk in yet.

Call it slow if you must, but January without school is really one kind of a bore and chore. Thankfully, I now have a part-time job, which though is sian and monotonous to me, is still better than lazing around at home or squandling all my money on a probable ridiculous amount of socialising.

I have fifteen minutes before I run off to meet Andrew, and so I thought I should post about my 2008. It wascn't too bad I would say, although it was the year of the O's.

To be honest, I didn't hate the feeling of mugging, for my friends were always there to go through it with me. Neither did I hate all the "counselling" from the teachers that we ought to buck up, cuz' I think the results coming this Monday will prove that they were all for our own good. (: I also didn't hate the fact that we were the oldest in school and there weren't anymore seniors to look up to, because the juniors were pretty nice as well, haha. (Some are pretty sweet, aww)

They were so many things about 2008 that made it especially special such that I wouldn't mind sitting for the O's again! :O Now that life is stagnant as yet, I miss everything I had in Cedar, from the wonderful and bubbly 4Z to the disgusting toilets. I miss them all. Now that results are most probably going to be out on Monday the 12th, I'm starting to feel a tad apprehensive about what lies ahead for me. Where would I go?

Especially since, (I TOTALLY NEED TO ANNOUNCE THIS) JOHN FOO GOT 42/45 for his IB RESULTS. ?!!@#$%%##@ What smartness. I'm happy, but that only adds to the pressure of me having to do equally as well (hopefully) in the O's. Oh well.

Edit:
It's two days to the results! DDD: Haha, day after day I remind those around me, but I'm starting to feel the heat. After the 12th of January 2009 1530hours (must give time for the principal's address), I'll officially WELCOME 2009. (:

Just runnin' round and round, helter skelter?

2008-12-28T16:18:00.002+08:00

Joy is greatly baffled and disapointed.

I need to gather my insufficiencies and place them in Your Hands/

2008-12-24T00:43:00.002+08:00

I like this song. :) Relient K For the Moments I feel Faint

And the chorus goes:

Never underestimate my Jesus.
You're telling me that there's no hope.
I'm telling you your wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I'm lingering at the same crossroads again/

2008-12-23T23:10:00.004+08:00

Lord I give you my heart,

and I'll go wherever You may bring me. ♥

Woo. December is coming to an end. The year is coming to an end. Christmas is coming (: I'm not done with my cards! (Actually, more acurately, I can't bring myself to it. Holidays make me a complete bum and I don't like it! D:)

I'm here, after what seems months, because I've been asked repeatedly to update. Oh well, I'll try my best to present the happenings of the past whole month :) December: my trip to Taiwan, YF Camp, Caroling. :) My december was totally packed. Well packed.

Taiwan was da BOMB. I LOVE TAIWAN. I WISH I COULD STAY THERE LONGER OR NOT COME BACK. Haha, I was even contemplating going there to study (??!!!) Hmmm, and I even asked Dad about it. Well. My brother replied "Eh, Singapore unis are even better, waste money lah you!" But! I didn't get to see Ming Dao cuz' he's filming in China. I want to see him face to face! And and, in comparison, Singapore is such a humid and hot place!! The first few days back in Singapore was terrible.

Initially, I did not want to blog about the happenings in camp online and publicly. However, this morning, I came across someone's blog and I have to say this, I'm truly amazed by this person and I'm thankful that God has placed a friend like him in my life. :) and in the life of the YFers :)) And wow-ly, he offered me different perspectives to several things (like camp and the church). And yes, I'm here to say that camp this year has REALLY reminded me of the identity I have as an ambassador of Christ. I am a Christian and of course, in all my actions, thoughts or speech, I must uphold this identity. Even though throughout camp there were moments I felt horribly emo and downcast and homesick (:O), I need to acknowledge the hard work and effort put in by the committee for this camp. And indeed, it wasn't easy. It isn't easy to be in any committee, but what's important is God's standards, not man's. :) Who am I, to judge in any way?

On the second last day of camp, Korkor and Sam Tan left DDDDDD: Sending Korkor in was so depressing, I rather I had not been there. Even though Tekong looked nice (I hope) like some offshore island chalet, it's still sad ): I wonder how's life in there like. But oh well, Korkor and Sam's gonna be back home tmr for Christmas. :) YAY. Can't wait to see how they've changed too. :]

Caroling took place yesterday. Despite having to run here and there and despite being early in our schedule, Caroling went well. :) Praise God! It's God's standards, not man's. :) (I must remember) Megan's house was.. superb. Her family is so hospitable and the food, was amazing. Oh, and the sweets from Graham's were soda-licious! :DD

Today was a boring day. I woke up at 2 pm and played facebook all the way (how more boring can I get huh?). Trying my very best, I did not step out of the house at all. I didn't want to make my relationship with you more tense. I didn't want you to misunderstand me any further. I did not want this trust I took so long to build to just disappear like that. I did not want.. Ahh, countless "I did not want.." Just, just, just what do You want me to do? Show me the way, cuz' I'm lost.

Lord I give you my heart,

and I'll go wherever You may bring me. ♥

I'm drifting away from this reality

2008-12-16T14:44:00.003+08:00

Haha, I know of how I always tell Cherie and Yicen and the gang to be realistic in finding their guys. :) BUUUTTTTT.....

He's so HOT. <3

So random, but I'm bored and have nothing to do. D:

2008-12-16T12:49:00.001+08:00

All of a Sudden, I miss my good old Cedar Days ♥

♥

i can't wait for three more sunsets;

2008-10-27T12:05:00.002+08:00

I'm tired :[ Staring and memorising that pool of facts lying in front of me, has worn me out, seriously. ARGH. Haha, I'm taking pains to make more space for history by throwing all my geography facts off my mind, but I can't seem to be able to do it, cuz' I memorised geography for a whole span of one week! :S Shit, I still can't remember Hitler's economic policies and establishing peace, which is just a big whirlwind of confusion for me.

Three more days! Till the much awaited rest. :)

I know You're right there beside me :]

2008-10-19T22:08:00.003+08:00

I find it amusing how my mood changes. This morning, I was feeling so excited, yet now, I'm feeling so nervous! [Even though I feel pretty prepared]

And so, I picked up my phone and messaged Shermaine :) Shermaine, you're the best! :D Actually, I think I was asking her stupid questions, yet she kindly shared with me her experience and words of encouragement! You seriously made me feel better, from all those PMS-ing. Haha, the questions ranged from 'Did you feel nervous like I am now last year?' to 'Were there papers whereby you felt totally awful yet the results turned out to be pretty pleasing?'. Now, I think I was feeling plain dumb. Afterall, I've studied, and God will do the rest :) Faith, what a powerful word.

Oh! And I received many many messages and letters today. I don't recall sending a single message or writing a single letter to any past O level students, hehe. :) I was probably too ignorant then :p

Okay, I shall budge now, if not here comes Monster JOHNFOO. :OOO

And, yeah, anyway I think I'll be fine once chemistry paper is over tmr! SAMTAN, remember our deal :) [actually did we have one?]

Psalm 121: 1-2

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.

I believe He can move mountains and hills for me. :]

We're back at the same cross roads.

2008-10-16T22:53:00.003+08:00

Oh No, I'm here again! :[

Okay, I can die without a rest these days. I have been a sleepy head! I slept a whole 12 hours yesterday. obviously not enough to score well for science pract today:( since Chemistry was a freak weird, confusing, difficult, irritating, nerve breaking, stupid and just arhh, horrible, since I think I would fare like shit. Anyways, Mr Chin was the invigilator! OMGG, haven't seen him in ages and his presence in the lab just made me amchio throughout the entire time! :/

Oh wells, I find it damn funny that certain juniors can leave their blogs in hiatus for a full whole month just for EYEs, and here I am again, blogging, when it's 3 DAYS TO O'S! Oh well, did I say I'm looking forward to it anyway? :)

Just that, I need peace now, really. Troubles, please don't throw yourself at me. Hint caught, I would suppose?

Back to the books. Bye! till 5th November! :D

When you slammed the front door shut, a lot of others opened up.

2008-10-08T23:34:00.002+08:00

I'm having a freaking unexpected toothache. I have a question, why do they occur whenever I wanna study through the night?! What coincidence.

Anyhoos, I'm feeling down again. AHH, yes yes we can call it the pre-O's syndrome or something. Was just thinking of the issue on trust. Yes, naiveness and reality is hitting me hard. I guess sometimes, you need no such things like hammers to wake a person up, it's all in the man's heart. I knew things couldn't be that simple, but my friend, did you not know how much it could hurt when I placed ALL my trust in you, why not.

I think this issue is damn retarded.

I'm just waiting for post-O's.

under those dust shows the time that faded away

2008-10-07T09:23:00.001+08:00

HEHE! I found this in some super olddddd folder! ;D

my mind starts crashing. the sky follows as well/

2008-10-04T22:34:00.002+08:00

AHHHH. SOMEONE SAVE ME

While trying my best to make sure my closest friends don't lose steam, I myself am losing the motivation and rigour to persevere till the end [though it's just a sweet two weeks away]. Just one thought- the back of my mind's telling me to settle for sub-standard results that this weariness and unfuelled engine can bring- is killing me from top to toe. I can feel physical changes, even my body's telling me I'm wearing out already, just what's the freaking problem with me?

How can I give up after such long fighting. But I can't stop feeling that, time is seriously passing damn slowly. Everything I'm doing now makes me feel entirely sluggish. I don't just feel like a snail, I feel spiritless and defunct.

This is horrible.

those days were built to last.

2008-10-03T20:23:00.003+08:00

my best friends in school;
even our index numbers bear good meaning. :)

Today sure was an eventful day. I enjoyed today much, much more than any other day ever. I love my dearest class 4ZZZZZZZ. We're seriously so special [yet people can forget about us]. Seriously, everyone in 4Z made the past two years so memorable and special. I HEART YOU!!! <3

And, graduation is tmr, sad. ;(

Love Letter

2008-10-02T11:27:00.002+08:00

I found a letter in the drawer in an old pile
buried in dust and lost in time.
The ink and the words were faded,
but the thoughts and feelings were molded.

This may have been the first love letter I wrote,
which my wife kept it with her for so many years.
The promise of eternal love glowed from its engravings.
The hopes of love lasting beyond our lives were shimmering in its etchings.

With so many promises ignored,
the 'I love You' greeting almost forgotten.
I asked my wife, "Why do you keep this piece of paper,
full of false promises and love innuendos'?

She smiled, blushed a little, and replied.
It may be your ad-lib promise and show of love,
but when you inscribed it on the letter with your feelings,
it became the ultimate sanctuary of my love.

Jay P Narain

I'll put the emphasis on the evidence, begging for the proof

2008-09-29T23:42:00.002+08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GRADUATING IN 4 DAYS!

And you are my fading photograph,

2008-09-19T23:12:00.003+08:00

I'm just done with two hours of television time, and I'm feeling a little guilty, but ah.

As of today, the big O's is 31 days away, that gives me four more weeks to cram all the important stuff, some of which I know are only important for this exam, and I'd probably return them to the earth again, once O's is done. :) (smiles in eager and anticipation)

The school has been awfully quiet and serene these few days. Sec ones to threes all having their exams. How I miss sitting for exams in the classroom, instead of that intolerable hall. I'm always suey-ly situated at places either too hot and stuffy or too cool where the fan will blow my papers out of the hall and maybe down to the canteen. (It is no wonder Si Pei says I'm always damn noisy during exams, especially Math)

I seriously can't wait for the O's to fly by, I just have so much to do on my to-do list already! I no longer feel like mugging, seriously (it sucks ttm). I can't believe 4Z, we're graduating in two weeks! And, from then we finally do not have to wake up soooo early in the morning to come to school for lessons (of which some I really think is a waste of time). I have actually been looking forward to the study break, which then follows the O's and finally, liberation.

However, in retrospect, days in Cedar (especailly in old Cedar) can somehow never be replaced or forgotten. Sigh, I still can't believe I'm Sec four already. So oldddddddd.

Anyway, today, I had good dinner at Chomp Chomp! :) with Ella, Levinia and Yee Ting :) We need more of those, after O's maybe :)

Now, it's time to study. :)

" the definition of cool, and the awe in 'awesome' "

2008-09-06T22:20:00.003+08:00

(*credits: Yusin's blog, the results of blog hopping!)

HAHAHA.

"Mr Joshua Sng is the definition of 'cool' and the "awe" in "awesome". He is the only teacher who suggests that we watch well-scripted shows like Scrubs to improve our compositions." (just to magnify it :0)

Those were the very words found in the papers (of I can't remember what day, but who cares). I guess his ahem, pose, was good enough itself to land him a nice comfy spot in the papers. But description wise, I wouldn't say I disagree. I think he's one of 4Z's most favoured teacher :) :) And I bet a few of them, reading this, will be nodding their heads profusely already. :)

Anyway, I seriously have no idea why I posted the ABOVE, haha.

I guess, I'm just bored. D: I've been waiting to watch my taiwan drama for two hours already! I can't wait for my brothers to clear the living room and let me reoccupy the television. I didn't know my brothers could watch so much tv, what's even more surprising is that they're currently watching some taiwan variety show on Channel U, and not some blockbuster movie on Channel 5 or something. ???

Nevertheless, I had an awesome day today! I shopped (HURRAY) with Yvonne and met up with Swee Leng after such a long time! Haha, she's still as crazy as ever (and even crazier when she's with Yvonne :D). What a crazy and shag day, but truly enjoyable indeed. I didn't charge my camera battery so no photos today!! :( Nevermind, those happy times are etched in my mind and heart. :)) Studying turned out to be not so productive (hurhur, expected) but at least catching up was achieved!

I want more of such dates, after O's!

The feeling of getting back Prelim results have sunk in. GASP.

There's no reason to dwell on it, It's not worth it;

2008-09-03T09:31:00.003+08:00

the time to play is yet far away/ :(

It's been a week++ since Prelims officially ended. And, I'm still such a bum. Oh wells, I've had enough share of my fun and play. It's time to study! Tomorrow's Physics Mock! :S Someone save me, transfer some physics braincells to me please? It's Physics, XAMAGGGAHHH!

Today's study session with Zach!! :) I hope I'll be productive today. Okay, I gotta rush to meet him. Just here to declare: It's Physics Day! sigh.

Freedom isn't far! GO JOYYYYY. :D

Time flies when you're having fun

2008-09-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

Happy 14th!

(censored, rahaha)

And oh wow, they've really grown up, literally, up.

Now the cats start quacking and the pigs can fly;

2008-08-29T18:28:00.003+08:00

Picture of the day: MUSHROOM (the highlight, haha!)

It was so good to see all the seniors around in school today! I simply miss the feeling of having them around, with the feeling of the Big O's slightly out of reach (that feeling felt fabulous) :D

The past few days or so, was shiong ttm! And I'm so glad to say that our planned surprise for beloved Miss Lizah was successful! :) Also, I see the need to credit the prefects who cooperated and coordinated with us. Thanks to them loads (though they probably won't see this). Couldn't have done without them, Miss Begum and 4Z! :D Oh Oh and handsome who was so nice to drive me on Thursday to collect the balloon and all!

Alright, so that marks an end to the few shag days for that purpose. Saturday and Sunday is going to be more shiong, but! It'll be fun :) working at the Comex show at Suntec. :)

Anyway, today was Retail Therapy Day (or so I declare).

All the frustrations pent up in me just had to let loose and embrace some fresh air, despite such a happy day in school, embarrassing myself by running down the red carpet, answering a question on stage for the very first time in my four years (WOWHOWHOW) :D and of course, surprising dear Miss Lizah.

So ka-ching! Money's gone.

And sorry, I couldn't have some time with you today.

In all, it sure was a Happy Teachers' Day indeed :) I love all of them <3

the night turns into day, when your shadows fade away.

2008-08-25T21:01:00.003+08:00

Woo! It's over! This feeling feels extremely surreal, I have forgotten the feeling of exams, of which has just passed. How queer. A long day I'd say, especially since paper ended at nine and I was free from then.

Had mighty breakfast with index no 1, 7, 8, 9 and 10 at bk macs :) What a time of bonding! And rushed back to school to play basketball, only to realise Yee Ting and Ella were done with basketball. Oh wells, Yee Ting and I still had a fabulous lunch at Carls Jr. I bought much stuff today! :) To celebrate the end of prelims. :)

Then, Ella, Yee Ting and I caught Money No Enough II at Cathay. Oh my, the scenes made me absolutely teary. Jack Neo really knows how to evoke our tears, Haha.

Had a good day in short :)

Anyway, check out my brothers' photo when they were much younger. SO CUTEEE. :D

Also, Saturday was a long day at Combined BP YF. My group! DAN :D with the two Daniels in it, how cool :)

Time to watch TV and relax :)

I can tell by your tone, I have taken it too far again; Have I not?

2008-08-24T22:46:00.003+08:00

i miss those fun we had <333

Woo, I'm here, finally. I miss being online, quite a bit. I can hardly believe it, Prelims are going to be over tomorrow morning at NINE! :) I sound so excited, surely I am. Prelims flew past faster than expected, and haha, I've been so mean to laugh at those whose papers only start tomorrow! But yeah, those guys can do it! Go Zachhh, especially! :)

And the up this week is a nice three day holiday of rest :) Thank God. He's been so merciful and faithful to me. Today was a very "ARGHHH" day cause I spent the entire day lying on bed, feeling totally awful. Thankfully, it's nothing more than an MCQ paper tomorrow, if not I'd blast off at the speed of light due to over-worrying.

And, thanks to those people who have been supporting me too, knowing that i'm still so far away from that 'gung ho miss know it all' image I portray. I wish that image I portray was true, anyway. :)

Lastly,
You are my freedom
Jesus, You're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life.

We're just chasing after some finer day;

2008-08-15T21:19:00.001+08:00

My weekend photo :)
They make cat fights cute, I swear :DDDD

I don't like to be here at this time ]:

But i just gotta say that I'm truly amazed. At how friendships can just change in a 'poof' and many many months later, we go truce. Haha, I don't really like this ambiguity in my post. But not as if this time, the loss concerns me, or rather it is not my loss, anyway.

But, how can you allow such a small, (much) insignificant thing cloud your mind and engulf you? This really reminds me of the time back last year, during national day celebrations. A small minute thing we quarrelled, and it lasted for months without warning. Yeah, time might settle this, for you. But I find this so stupid, that I should somewhat be involved, and I'm actually feeling a tad guilty after the anger I was suffering from just a few moments ago.

Don't be retarded. :]

Oh, I really like this smiley face :]

And, YES! A week of Prelims down. Thank God, time's passing really fast :]

Desperation strips me; and so we're here again.

2008-08-11T09:04:00.002+08:00

What an excellent morning :) I don't feel proud about this but i slept for a nice full fourteen hours and am finally awake and kicking/

But, the last thing I'd do now is to lose my compose and start panicking like as if tomorrow's doom's day. Well, technically it should be, since tomorrow's the commencement of Prelims (WOW :O). But I'm gonna stay collected and continue my study plan. Time, please expand for me. :D

Okay, bye world for 14 days.

don't expect the doves to pick you from that ground.

2008-08-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

I meant to come here yesterday, but i simply couldn't find the time to. Besides, the computer isn't always available when you have three brothers at home.

I guess i needed to articulate some stuff here, if not i won't feel gooooood.

I received two tests yesterday and one troubled me badly. I know some of you have no clue why I'm so upset, yeah especially when I don't think I actually fared that horribly, did I?

I don't know how best to describe this uneasy feeling. You, exposed my unspoken fear, of not being able to live up to those expectations. It isn't actually very nice to be labelled as a "smart ass" just because I have three smart brothers, y'know? It creeps in me, it builds in me that tremulous fear I cannot withstand. This sudden exposure certainly has made me feel vulnerable. You know, I really want to do well, I believe in my strengths yet aware of those limitations. So, let me handle it?

Hit me with your light

2008-08-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

tell me, who am i to you, that you should care so extensively?

there are a few things that made me happy today:D at least i really smiled. :)

i took a 3 hour nap! haha.
Matthias is back! :D It's always nice to have someone who's been gone so long back :)
when i was on 13 home, i saw this kid in this car two lanes away while the traffic light was red. He smiled at me, and made stupid faces. :D SO CUTE. when the light turned green, we waved to each other till we were out of each other's sight! I miss being a kid.
Emily was so cute today! :)

that's all. :)

I let that beast in too soon; I don't know how to live

2008-08-01T22:11:00.002+08:00

i love this photo :)
one of those few, we always take in YAKUN :D
you girls make me HAPPAYYYEE <333

I'm normal, yes I'm normal. :)

I think I've been weird, have I not? My haircut surely isn't the cause (HAHA). I just need some getting used to for my haircut. ;)

I just feel rather apprehensive about everything that's slapping right into my face now at top speed.

Can i make it?

10 days to go.

It gets so complicated; All the things you've gotta be

2008-07-30T20:22:00.003+08:00

I just needed memories,
before they run,
and become so distant.

Also, the last photo i took before my haircut :)

I would hate to say this sometime ago, but i miss you, very much <3

Love is so short, Forgetting is so long

2008-07-29T20:22:00.001+08:00

my oh my, "Tonight i can write the saddest lines" is stuck in me now.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Pablo Neruda

Love is a game of chances; So i'll take my chance with you

2008-07-27T17:29:00.000+08:00

i really like this photo :]

AND AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANDSOME! :D
HAPPY 19TH! :DDD

this shows how much we need to take photos together again

:D

2008-07-25T14:30:00.000+08:00

hey,
you're not hopeless.
God doesn't give up on anyone,
so don't give up! <3

work harder! I'll be behind you. :]

2008-07-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

I can't help but feel offended.

I've seen through you, and i'm feeling thoroughly awful about it.

I feel like boxing your face now.

And wish you could get out of my life this minute.

I don't like to do this, but why must you stretch my limit,

and force me to distant myself.

You have no EQ.

2008-07-14T08:06:00.000+08:00

nothing beats being so comfortable with you

okay, i'll post a few pictures :D since i'm lazy, just a few :D

on YF anniversary :D i like. AND, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGSS!

levinia, me and MOK! :D

sighs. photos take forever to upload.

maybe i shall stop here first :D

another day:) i1m back to Singapore indepedence story.

2008-07-08T09:54:00.000+08:00

I WANNA POST PHOTOS, BUT WHERE'S MY CAMERA USB CABLE???!! RAHHHH.

2008-06-26T08:20:00.000+08:00

ARGGGHHH. i'm ultimately pissed. my itunes library is gone. this is the SECOND time i have to do this cos of another's inconsideration. :(

2008-06-24T11:08:00.000+08:00

PHOTOS! :)

sunday( 22/6/08)
THE SMASHING :D

and the poor cake that got neglected after :(

i like this. me, joey, megs and JERRY :D

the two of them gaying! ;D

went to ice cube to celebrate lyd's birthday! check this out, it's so hilarious!!

TODAY!

michelle the princess. :)

HUISHAN'S ALWAYS SO CUTE<3>

went to coffeebean at gardens to study with michelle. we went crazy with the photos!
i think we were very kiddish and prob a disgrace to our uniform :(

"commemoration" of the one who left, haha.

I LOVE MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL :)

I LOVE YOU SO.

Blessing from Aboveee

Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

My heart still has a beat

Maybe.

((Sorry))

Overcame doubts, overcame and fell/

{You make it easier when life gets hard}

"You love me?"

My heart won't move, it's incomplete

If I should be so bold/

(( It's a supernatural delight ))

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

The home base is raided;

Say say, tell me why.

And so it reads.

She wants it all. Diamond rings & shiny cars/

A letter to my dearest friend.

[Just KID-around Like Mad Man]

Hey Friend, can you tell me why?

I SMILE YOU SMILE

If I should be so bold, but I never said I would;

Perfect/

Promises.

:(

Stuck.

Because I don't neeeeeeed your _ _ _ _

Because you're the rarest of the diamonds & the stars

Don't mean to impose, Boy

Give me a reason to smile, that kind that will last for a while;

{{ From your walk to your style, got me feeling like a child }}

I DON'T KNOW MY MATH///////

It's complicated

Bound and Gagged, I fight

But I stopped my counting when I saw your face

WHAT TEAM.

Why is this emotion overwhelming my soul?

Swing swing swing

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag

I'm facing a non-existent goalkeeper (yet)

And baby, that's a case of my wishful thinking

I hate to chase in this futile marathon

JOY IS JUST FEELING EMO TODAY.

Sometimes dear life, you run across a love unknown

the telephone line's not breaking?

Will you save me a secret message tonight?

To have and to hold

CHASE CHASE CHASE/

Please just don't play with me

sprinkle them tactlessly; those words could kill

The extraordinary come alive;

THE LONG OVERDUE CHASE

Just runnin' round and round, helter skelter?

I need to gather my insufficiencies and place them in Your Hands/

I'm lingering at the same crossroads again/

I'm drifting away from this reality

i can't wait for three more sunsets;

I know You're right there beside me :]

We're back at the same cross roads.

When you slammed the front door shut, a lot of others opened up.

under those dust shows the time that faded away

my mind starts crashing. the sky follows as well/

those days were built to last.

Love Letter

I'll put the emphasis on the evidence, begging for the proof

And you are my fading photograph,

" the definition of cool, and the awe in 'awesome' "

There's no reason to dwell on it, It's not worth it;

Time flies when you're having fun

Now the cats start quacking and the pigs can fly;

the night turns into day, when your shadows fade away.

I can tell by your tone, I have taken it too far again; Have I not?

We're just chasing after some finer day;

Desperation strips me; and so we're here again.

don't expect the doves to pick you from that ground.

Hit me with your light

I let that beast in too soon; I don't know how to live

It gets so complicated; All the things you've gotta be

Love is so short, Forgetting is so long

Love is a game of chances; So i'll take my chance with you